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Now That You Asked.. We Just Prefer 'Child'.

I was collecting my 10 year old daughter from school and one of the moms from our class caught up with me. She was friendly and we chit chatted about the renovations that were about to begin on her home over the weekend. I listened while she explained how annoyed her husband would be when he realized she wasn’t going to stop in just one room as he thought. That’s what he gets for working weekends! And she confided her new color scheme for the entire house was unbeknownst to him as well. Simple pass the time sort of talk, the kind you’d expect from some of the moms you don’t know very well on the daily school run.

As we walked out with our children and their friends she struck up a new conversation specifically about my daughter. She began by complementing me on how interesting she was. That she was always very respectful to adults and very confident when she spoke to them. She seemed to have something to say and it appeared she was trying to find the words to say it. She must spend a lot of time with adults, she continued, ‘It must be because she’s an only child.’

And there it was, the classic only child back-handed jab! I should have seen it coming. I should have known which direction she was driving our conversation but I was distracted by mystical tales of her busy life with two kids including some upcoming deceit involving fifty shades of beige.

It wasn’t the first time someone I didn’t know very well or at all found it appropriate to inquire why my daughter was an ‘only child’ but hidden behind casual curiosity always is wanting to know why it was we had just one.

It also wasn’t the first time that once the topic was broached how quickly the mother/father/old lady on the street would dive head first into my reproductive history. I’ve had people on line at supermarkets ask out loud if I’d yet tried IVF.

Only one? (LOOK OF PITY) … Wow that must be he hard on her? …No one to play with? … No brother or sister? …Gosh.

And when I answer, actually no it’s okay she’s a pretty happy kid, plenty of interests, lots of cousins, friends but thanks for asking. Some talk over me to my daughter asking her would she like a baby sister. You’d be a great big sister wouldn’t you? Others ignore my answer completely to finish their horror story of a friend of a friend with cervical cancer… and an older woman actually Tsk Tsk’d me, complete with waggy index finger, after my very nice and accommodating response to her very rude and inappropriate questions.

One time I tried answering a particular nosy question with honesty. I told her about the six miscarriages I’d had but it was okay now and actually we felt lucky to have a child.  That was a little too much reality for the grey-haired woman at Super Quinn at 3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon who had just asked me why we hadn’t yet considered fostering if –(and let me remember exactly.. ) if my uterus was now barren. She nodded and smiled an awkward smile and slowly turned back towards the teller obviously finding miscarriage a much more inappropriate topic than barren uteruses.

Stranger’s comments are one thing but it’s always a surprise when it comes from a friend. Someone I thought was a good pal once said when I saw her on the street and she was obviously pregnant with her second child that she hadn’t told me she was pregnant because she was worried I’d be unhappy for her because I only had one. She laughed it off as a put-on told me she was ‘only kidding’ so I awkwardly congratulated her, looking hard for the humor in her joke.

Then there are those who tell us how lucky we are that we have an only child while they coo at the thought of the serenity of our life compared to theirs. How it must be so less frantic for you?  As if being ‘busy’ is singly related to how many kids you have, as if a lot of the ‘busy’ we build around ourselves isn’t a small bit conjured up to fill the time. I usually say something simple like, Well, I don’t know, we are pretty busy. The response is always incredulous, but you only have one kid!

Recently I’ve come to notice two and three child families have become the new large family of our economic times. Growing up in the 70’s with five kids in my family we always used to say those families were small. Now they refer to themselves as the ‘gang’ or the ‘tribe’ or some other uncontrollable mob when they show up to a BBQ or a holiday event. It’s funny when I think of our neighbors back home who had 16 kids. Our family of five mustn’t have looked very busy to them either.

What it comes down to is this. I would never ask someone at a mall waiting for pizza with two small boys at their side; you must be devastated you never had a girl? Or someone on line at the butcher’s with a little girl and a boy; too bad your son doesn’t have a brother to play with. I also couldn’t imagine waiting for a 99 at the ice cream truck and pointing out to a total stranger with a single child in a backpack; I would begin to consider adoption if I were you.

It’s been ten years, so now when hit with a probing and unsolicited comment about our daughter being disadvantaged in some way for being an ‘only child’ we’ve grown a thick skin and usually find something funny about it—or at least about the person saying it. But there is always someone who might feel sorry for her. To them I would say, please don’t. She’s a pretty happy kid.


And now that you asked, you can leave off the ‘only’ next time.

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